I don’y know why kids have to make crank calls. Gabe Kotter: What’s the matter, Julie? Who was that? Gabe Kotter: I would’ve married someone else. Gabe Kotter: Julie, baby, if it wasn’t for you… Juan Luis Pedro Phillipo de Huevos Epstein: Assault. Gabe Kotter: What’s your favorite subject? Me, Juan Epstein, the flim-flam man of Buchanan High School, a legit excuse. It’s the first legitimate excuse I’ve turned in in 11 years. Gabe Kotter: “Please excuse Juan’s absence. Please excuse Juan’s abs – ” Aren’t you gonna read along? Kotter, I got a note excusing my absenteeism.
Her name is Kali Kalu…formerly Miss Debbi Rothenberg of Forrest Hills.Īrnold Horshack: Hey kids! Let’s put on a show!Īrnold Horshack: You know, Horshack is a very old and respected name it means “the cattle are dying”. Last week I was walking down the street – Avenue “D” I think it was – when suddenly I was approached by this girl – a vision of loveliness. Juan Luis Pedro Phillipo de Huevos Epstein: Why the last, Horschack?Īrnold Horshack: Cuz when they made me, they broke the mold.Īrnold Horshack: I’ll share my experience with you - perhaps it will inspire you to join us. Gabe Kotter: You can’t have my teddy either.Īrnold Horshack: I’m Arnold Horshack, the last.
Gabe Kotter: Well, you can’t have your teddy.Īrnold Horshack: Well, then how about Mrs. Michael Woodman: What victory? You didn’t win anything.Īrnold Horshack: Ohhh, the agony of defeat.Īrnold Horshack: I would’ve been okay if I had my teddy. He’s everywhere… with the possible exception of Epstein’s gymn locker! Go to sleep!Īrnold Horshack: The thrill of victory! He’s Moonlight in Vermont, Autumn in New York, all the standards. Gabe Kotter: Well, I think that, uh, God is everywhere. Kotter? What’s your feelings on this subject?
And if he were here, he’d love my tuna casserole. He got a piano, a bass guitar, and a drummer with a good right foot. God is backed up by a jazz rhythym section. And of course he’s Italian.įreddie ‘Boom Boom’ Washington: Yeah? Well, if you ask me, all that stuff about harps is a lot of jive. Vinnie Barbarino: I got my own idea of what God is like. Sorta like John Wayne in a white beard, y’know? “All right, pilgrims, move those clouds in a circle.” Juan Epstein: Y’know, I think God is kinda tough, y’know? But he’s fair. You know, she sings just like Aretha Franklin. Vernajean Williams: Hey, God can do anything. Do you ever think about what God is like?Īrnold Horshack: Oh, yeah. Vinnie Barbarino: Of course I know who he was! That was Chef Boyardee’s maiden name. Judy Borden: You mean you don’t know who Amerigo Vespucci was? Gabe Kotter: Did I ever tell you about my Uncle Max? Squiggy: Yeah? Well, up your gizzard with a rubber lizard!Īrnold Horshack: What is? is. Vincent ‘Vinnie’ Barbarino: Hey! Up your nose with a rubber hoses! Vincent ‘Vinnie’ Barbarino: Off my case, toilet face!įreddie “Boom Boom” Washington: Hi there.Īrnold Horshack: “Please excuse Juan for being a sheephead.” Signed: “Epstein’s mother’s veterinarian”. Gabe Kotter: So then you’ll come in through the door! Gabe Kotter: You know what I’m gonna do: I’m going to put a window over there. Vincent ‘Vinnie’ Barbarino: Love means never having to hear i’m pregnantĪrnold Horshack: Hellooohhhh. Gabe Kotter: Gambling in school? Do you realize the odds are almost 5 to 1 against that happening?įreddie “Boom Boom” Washington: I’ll take that bet.
Vincent ‘Vinnie’ Barbarino: We could have a casino night. Vincent ‘Vinnie’ Barbarino: I’m so confused. Vincent ‘Vinnie’ Barbarino: Up your nose with a rubber hose! Michael Woodman: Kotter, these kids couldn’t pass a blood test without cheating. Arnold Horshack: OOOOOOHHHHH! OOOOOOHHHHH! OOOOOOHHHHH!įreddie “Boom Boom” Washington: Hey, Mr.